How I Beat the System, Or, Success In Exploitations, by roughdraft_zero

So Taco Bell doesn't have much that's appetizing these days, and they also have the dangerous lure of overeating on the few things that are tolerable to the point of just feeling like TB gave you TB. Their old staples of crunchy tacos are a good example of this. Say you're confused by what the hell is in a crunchwrap supreme, or can't even wrap your head around what a "chalupa" is, so you say, "FUCK IT JUST GIVE ME SEVEN TACOS." Upon sitting down and beginning to enjoy your tacos, you cautiously take your first bite and have a sense of relief before speedily devouring the remainder of that very first taco on your plastic oval tray. You're surprised by how you are sure you made the right choice by going with the simple item, taking again another first bite of Taco #2, prompting you to exclaim out loud, "These tacos are THE SHIT!" You finish your second taco and begin the third, the excitement fading. You finish that third taco and almost begrudgingly begin the fourth, taking a full two minutes to chew each bite. When holding the last two bites of that fourth taco in your hand, you begin to feel a gurgle in your lower intestine and a layer of grimy film inside your mouth, and now choose to exclaim, "These tacos taste like SHIT."

So it is important to choose wisely when ordering at Taco Bell. Fortunately, they've began a string of new value meals that offer combinations of both classic items as well as the newer items serving as examples of an extreme overabundance of both R&D and P.R. employees. One combo is a chicken quesadilla, a crunchy taco and a medium drink for $4.99. Seems reasonable enough, both for price as well as tastebud appeal. But upon researching the menu more, I discovered a mini-menu of "D Deals," or "Two Dollar Meal Deals" as it is titled. One is the D2, which consists of a Double Decker Taco, a bag of Doritos and a medium drink for two dollars. I thought that was interesting, and always liked the Double Decker Taco. The Double Decker by itself is $1.69, so for an extra thirty-one cents you're getting a drink and a pre-schooler's size bag of Doritos. I said to the gentleman behind the counter, "Gimme one o' them thar Dee Toos, por favor." "Anything else, sir?" the gentleman asked through his dark yet horse mane-thin mustache.

I see a section of the menu called, "Specialties." That sounded special, so I had a look. What do I see? A chicken quesadilla, and for how much? $2.69. Two dollars and sixty-nine cents! Add that to my D2, and what do you get? $4.69! So, for thirty cents LESS than the $4.99 taco/quesadilla combo, I get an upgrade to a Double Decker Taco and a free bag of chips! I am stickin it to the man!

Man... they had all that shit when I worked there a long time ago.

tacos made with ground beef are stupid.

tl;dr

lolz

Great post rz. Yeah, you gotta avoid the big 5 dolla combos and dig on the dolla or 2$ menu's.

They make their money on the big combos and they slaughter you on the drinks.

We used to drink them all the time. Then the regional manager complained about the drinks.