I had a revelation today.

I fucking suck.

This isn't meant to be like a "woe is me" type thread where I expect people to go, "Awww, no, you're great!" (I expect a flood of "Took you this long to realize this lol?" type posts, which I agree is humorous.)

Just saying I suck.

'Cos I do.

And I gotta go poop.

In other news, I just hung out with a pretty attractive gal who claims to be a virgin vulture, so perhaps I'll get my mack on. Not wanting to go full-on or anything, but if I can smooch and maybe grab some titayz, that'll be pretty groovy.

Was waiting for the part about poop. Was not disappointed.

Does the virgin vulture eat out assholes?

only if he eats seven pounds of Arby's right before.

Man, I can dig 7 lbs. o' Arby's ROAST BEEF.

Slap some cheese and sauce on for some ultra stank.

I could have my very own human shit-sucking machine.

TOOK YOU DIS LAWNG TO REELEYZ DIS? LOL

HE ADDED CAPS AND STREET SPELLING TO MAKE IT DIFFERENT

And teh funE was delivered!

Wait how old are you again?

25. Lemme guess—you're gonna be a flaming homo and ridicule me for never having intercourse, lol.

Nope, I just always thought you were younger.

I see.

:O

How could someone who loves poop possibly suck? Oh wait......

You yourself suck, though.

As in, suckin' turds into points and fuckin' yerself wid'em.

o.o

I should've known that an Abz thread would be nsfw (or nsfs in this case). Bah, be back later tonight.

Blame Deeseebee