~Academy Community Thread~

Also don't get it

roughdraft_zero wrote:

I don't get it either. Unless you were just saying it was funny because I just mentioned that they need to tour out west and the retarded, unintelligible picture is unrelated.

Yes. That is why I thought it was funny.

I have my first AA meeting tomorrow night with this whole agreement with my former employer. I keep seeing religious shit related to AA. So that's kind of what makes me nervous. I don't know how far I've gone into my anti-religion stuff on here... but I'm, I dunno... super against it? I damn near lose it anytime people mention God or religion around me. I'm certain I've never gone into the reasons why, just not sure if I've talked about my hate of religion. I know my wife knows and a few people that know me pretty closely. But it's such an 'iffy' subject I keep it to myself. Obviously, the whole Lance of Longinus, thing...

But I don't know. My former boss seems pretty intent on me going to AA. Even though we've had discussions while I was wearing my jacket with black metal logos and a patch that says 'Burn Your Local Church' and when questioned, I expressed my hate of religion. Maybe that's why? Or maybe he forgot? I don't know... I just don't want to do it and I'm tempted to take the legal repercussions if he doesn't agree with me declining for my religious 'beliefs'. That is... only if they say the answer to my problem is 'God'. I have so much hate I can't even fake it. And I know that's probably just my own problem.

In positive news... my laptop died. That means I can't record vocals or guitars for the new Lance of Longinus album I've been working on... but I have been thinking about ambient and electronic stuff that would work well. So basically, blending Noise Redemption Prophecy with Lance of Longinus. I know at least roughdraft dug that project of mine. I've always enjoyed it but never brought it back. So now I'm working on shit like that to blend into the metal. And the new album will probably end up not metal for the most part. There are a lot of soft ambient guitar sections, so with this added... it's going to me more of an atmospheric/ambient album with bursts of black metal and doom. Which actually seems pretty interesting to me. I know it's been done before, but I've never done it. So I'd like to see how well I do. The ambient black metal and pure ambient stuff is what I've gotten the most positive feedback on, so maybe this will be my thing. I really enjoy it, just always been weary of doing it...

I'll pray to God that your meeting goes well.

Hah, try being strongly against religion, while being married to a religious person :p

So is my dad actually, guess it runs in the family


But yeah, I'm surprised there isn't a alternative to AA that isn't Christian-related

I was really into a religious girl... But I just knew it wouldn't work. She wanted me to come around but I knew there was no way. If you found a compromise, good on you. I just couldn't do it.

I still can't believe you're having to comply with the demands of some fuck clown you worked for months ago. I'm like 99% sure suing someone after they've been dismissed isn't possible in Canada.

jeffnogo wrote:

I can't remember you ever finding anything to be funny.

I thought the situation in my avatar was pretty funny.

They actually didn't sue me... so still a US thing. The state is suing. Here's an update!

I couldn't go through with AA. I walked there and there was a ton of people outside. I got anxious. I was walking there listening to Mgla's new album. So I got super stressed seeing the people and kept walking listening to the music. I stopped like 10 minutes away and sat on a bench at a little river. I finished listening to the album. The whole time I was thinking about drinking but felt I shouldn't. When it was over I went to the store beside me and got a tea. Walked back listening to Graves At Sea's Documents of Grief. I don't know... the way the night went felt more productive than listening to a christian agenda to get me straight. I made the decision not to drink and made the night productive by walking all the way across town and back.

Well, I went to my counselor this week... we talked. She asked questions and made me fill out questionnaires without giving me any thoughts or solutions to anything. I had to report to my former boss immediately after. When he answered he said I didn't show up the day before, and I had to remind him our meeting was that morning... so I go and meet him. I did what he asked... I wrote down our agenda, what our plan was, etc... for him to sign to have documentation. He says it's not good enough and basically wants a flow chart with specific dates of when I have gotten over different afflictions and addictions... and then he'll sign.

Really, what the fuck? That's not how physical/mental/emotional problems work. I can't tell you I'll be over my alcoholism on this day and I'll be over my anger problems on this day. All this has done is stress me out more and caused me to drink more than I already was. He's lying to me and fucking with me. This won't end well.

And to be honest with you, I'm drinking right now trying to come up with this flow chart.  I feel like confessing to you guys is more beneficial than this bullshit.

Why is your ex employer even involved with this? If it's deemed that you have to go to AA and anger management or whatever why does his opinion matter? He's not your fucking parole officer.

I'm not even kidding, if I were you I would consider moving you and your family to Canada once you have that shit sorted out. Your country is a god damned shithole. And I'm not even saying that Canada is that great, but that whole situation you're in is fucking ridiculous.

My employer never filed charges against me. The state saw that there was the 'potential' for a law suit and filed charges against me, getting us both involved. We both thought the issue had been resolved. Apparently the state has the right to file charges on the behalf of a 'victim' if they feel so inclined even if the said victim declines to file charges. I can see where this could potentially be useful in the instance of an abusive spouse and the victim is afraid to speak up... but when 2 adults talk and decide that 'fuck it, who cares'... why does the state step in? That's my issue.

And I have considered living in Canada. I like the cold. I mean, it would be about the same as Washington which I really like. Leslie and I had talked about going up and hanging out with you sometime a while back...but I think you moved a great distance away from us? Canada seems like a nice place.

I did but I've moved back. I live only probably 10-12 hours away from you. I like the cold too, I can't stand the summer.

Where are you at now? I remember a place called Kelowna or something similar?

yeah I live in Kelowna

I don't know about moving to Canada right now, but I might try to visit and we could hang out. I'm going to bed now... I hope this shit goes well tomorrow. Don't know how much longer I can take it.

I'm fine with getting help, but this is ridiculous.

That'd be cool.

Sounds like borderline blackmail to me. I'd probably consult with an attorney to see if what he's asking is actually legal.

Today was long as shit for me. Went to my counselor. She continued to ask me questions while giving me no answers or solutions to the problems. Like, no advice, nothing. On my way there, I realize I left my paperwork for the court shit at home. I live about 20-25 minutes away. So I have to drive back home. Then my nose starts bleeding on the way back. I come inside and fix my bloody nose. Drive to the library (because I don't have a printer and I had to print out my acknowledge meant and my flow chart thing). I drive to the library and all the parking spots are taken. Then I realize that when dealing with my bloody nose, I forgot my fucking paperwork again. So I drive back home to pick that up... go to the library and print my shit out. I call my former boss to see if I can come see him. He's busy and can't take my call... so then I drive back to that town anyway because my wife works there and I'll go have lunch with her. So that's another hour gone by (driving there and having lunch). I call back, he answers quickly, and agrees to meet me. I'm already expecting bullshit. He reads over my flowchart, grabs a pen, and starts signing it. I ask 'So you're okay with this?' He agrees and then proceeds to all my court paperwork.

Holy shit, I was so fucking happy. Not how I expected it to go down at all today. But it's really awesome that he agreed and signed. Now I just have to go back to the courthouse when I get paid, pay a stupid fucking court fine of $200 (which I shouldn't really need to pay because neither of us wanted this), and then this whole thing goes away forever. I was super fucking enthused by all this.

Hung out with my wife and kid after she finally got home from work. We ate and watched Nightcrawler. After they went to bed I sat down and started working on Lance of Longinus shit, which I kind of gave up on when all this happened. I did stuff here and there, but I was mostly too stressed to deal with writing and recording. And I'm super pleased with what I came up with tonight. So yeah, all around, I'm feeling great right now.

Sounds good.

You watched Nightcrawler with your daughter? That movie is pretty intense.

She's a baby... she won't remember. Hell, even if she was older, she could watch it. I was watching gorier stuff when I was a kid. Robocop and Robocop 2 are both very fond memories from my childhood. While Nightcrawler is a more fucked up story, she won't remember that aspect.

But yeah, super happy about stuff right now. So, that's awesome. I feel positive about the future now for the first time in a month.

Just stumbled across a #rare pic of chad
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Nightcrawler is great.  Need to watch it again soon.

And that's cool that you are finally feeling good about things, and keep the momentum rolling with this.

Apparently the dude in my profile pic looks so emaciated because he has no sugar intake and has recently been experiencing a lot of blackouts and can't figure out why lol. "The doctor told me to drink more Gatorade, but I dunno, this bottle has like 34 grams of sugar and I haven't had anything with that much sugar in it in a long time," wtf lol.

My fat ass eats too much sugar, but damn, cutting that stuff out is bonkers.

Since we are all sharing personal stuff I guess I'll say that (in case those people don't know) I got a new job as a security guard. I work at a hotel and I dunno, kinda sucks I guess. Easy enough but seems like an even bigger motivator than being unemployed to find a better job.