the things my clients do

Honeslty i dont even know where to start.. weird and crazy stuff happen to me all the time at work.

nobody cares.

I expect this thread to fail because a lot of the hilarity comes from your impressions of them. Or actually getting to know/hear them personally. I'll probably have to funny up your stories.

Or because of that.

I just wanted to make sure that was the first post lol.

no but seriously way to start a good thread we wanted you to and then have nothing inside it. Make with the stories.

khemchee wrote:

Honeslty i dont even know where to start.. weird and crazy stuff happen to me all the time at work.

Cool story bro

I was thinking about that too... because only 6 of the 12 of my clients can actually hold conversations... everyone else just makes noises.

Off to a great start.

tits or gtfo

Ill make with some stories and what not after a while.. i have a bit of work to do before i can type out long posts..

Ill make with some stories and what not after a while.. i have a bit of work to do before i can type out long posts..

No hooker jokes yet? Really?

i loath my phone. i work at three different houses. the johnson house, the mens house, and the womans. at every house there are four clients (except at the womans, there are only three). tonight im at the womans house. usually what happens to me here is i get yelled at by on old woman. she tells me about all of the ways shes going to get me fired and about how much she hates me. oh and she tries to through herself out of her wheelchair, her recliner, and her bed. one night she said that she was going to fall out and crack her head open, because one of bosses said it was okay according to her, and then i would be fired... other then her, theres a lady that has no eyes and is extreamly mentally disabled. she does not like clothes and does not use the toilet... oh and she will tear off a diper.. so basically she pees and shits on herself.. oh and shes a vaginal and anal digger.. woo. then theres a younger girl.. she has cp.. all she does is spit and cry..

....just some of the reasons I got my degree in business...

Like I said... you're going to need me for the funny. This thread may have to wait about a week until I sit down at my computer and write some stories.

As soon as i can affored to go to school and ive moved i most certainly will not be doing this kind of work again.

Two questions:

1) How did the pisshitter lose her eyes? Did she gouge them out or something?

2) Have any of the retards ever spanked their spermload on you?

No she didnt do anything to her eyes. when she was younger she got some sort of infection in her eyes and the doctor decided to remove them. and no ive never had to deal with any of my clients jizz.. ive come on shift right after one of them decided to lay in the middle of the floor and start jacking off. but thats as close as ive had.

At the retirement home my grandmother stays at, she lives in a cottage-building with another cottage-building in a self-contained lawn. I went one day to drop off Ensure (she doesn't eat most foods anymore, just drinks ensure and chews hotdogs without the bun) and Diapers when I realized that she and a lady in the other cottage she really hates were fucking racing each other shambling from her cottage area to the other cottage area.

The nurse said that they have been doing that for an hour, where it started off being about them wanting to catch one of the facilities cats to just going in a circle screaming obscenities at each other. My grandmother ignored me (I think she had forgotten me by then) the entire time and even tried to throw down the other woman, leading to them shambling along at the same pace with my grandmother holding onto the other woman's arm. DAT DETERMINATION!



At another facility, my grandmother one time was using the elevator to travel from the 6th floor (her place) to the bottom level (floor 0, dinning room) and failed to hit a button on the elevator after getting in. She proceeded to start freaking out and only an hour later when someone pushed the button to use the elevator for his family was my grandmother able to get out. Unable to process the situation, she remembered that my dad had been there that day to drop off her medication and check up on her. She from then on believed that my dad was the devil (well, she from then on believed that he was a jew, but that's the same thing to her) and was out to steal her bed. Hilarity ensued where she'd secure the door with rubber bands around the lock, putting her tv in the closet and using the cushions from the couch to protect her bed.




Dementia is a terrible thing, but laughing at the things she does alleviates the pain of losing a loved one. We're never laughing at her, just what happens.

My grandparents both had alzeheimers. After beating up my grandfather my grandmother was placed in a mental ward. Probably was pissed because he kept wandering off down the street.

It's a shame when someone steals the show in the thread. Ole khemchee's got to step up her game.

my grandmother has had alzheimer's for about 10 years. about 5 years ago, she was at the beauty parlor getting her hair did and her sitter was not there the second they finished with her. so, this 94-year-old woman starts walking home--except she doesn't know which way home is. we seriously had the cops out looking for her. the cops did in fact find her sitting on the curb two blocks from the beauty parlor (on the opposite side of where her house was), saying, "I just stopped to rest. I know where I'm going!" ... She then became belligerent when the cops tried to take her home. eventually, my mom had to go pick her up from the curb.

Who are you, khemchee?

Damn, it really sucks, but my grandmother is starting to lose it as well. She's still fairly functional, but she definitely shouldn't be somewhere she isn't that familiar with by herself. She's still pretty good with remembering her long term memory, for now, but she is definitely having trouble with her short term memory. We'll see how quickly she degrades.

It's kind of odd talking to her on the phone, but it seems like we have the same conversation twice. She'll ask me a few questions, I'll answer them, we'll talk about something else, and then five minutes later she'll ask me those same exact questions again. You can't just say "I already told you."